I need serious answers.. please help?? no judgment..?

Kso, I'm 14. Yeah yeah, Young.. i know. But, Idk why.. I want a kid. I started getting this thought when I was babysitting my cousins baby Blayke. I know it will cost ALOT of money w/ a baby. And I know it's alot of work taking care of a baby. I know all of that.. But, I honestly don't really know why i want one so bad.. I've tried to tell my mom about this thought.. But she flipped the hell out on me.. & I have no one to talk to about this. /: I've talked to my boyfriend about that i want a baby..and he said "It's up to you if you want one, But won't your parents kill us?" My parents are split up... So, If i did get pregnant, I don't know where i would live.. I was thinking about living with my aunt, But she does drugs.. But, Idk really. I want a baby, But at the same time.. I don't...I just sorta kinda want a baby to prove i'd be a better mom, then my own mom.. Someone please helpp? & No judgment.. I need serious answers...